Who Am I? Where Am I Going?

Who are you and Where are you going? Now they both are loaded questions depending on the day, time, mood, etc…. when you’re asked the question.

BUT, Who are you? I’m a doctor, lawyer, engineer. Supervisor, Analyst, Trainer, teacher……..

BUT, Who are you? I’m a mother, wife, sister, daughter, Aunt, friend, woman…….

BUT, Who are you? I am Faith, Friendship, Courage, Strength, Intelligence, Humor, Spiritual, Calm, Space, Air, Breath, Soul……

Who are you?…………………………………I AM!

I am all that AND some.

Before I know where I’m going maybe I need to ask, Where am I now and where do I want to go? How am I living? How I’m living is going to determine where I’m going. Am I living on purpose? Am I living my truth? Am I happy? What do I want? Do I want what I have? Do I know what I have? AM I Happy? Happiness is wanting what you have.

Do I want to change? What do I want to change?

Change, Because I want to get my finances together;

change, because I want to start my own business.

Change because I want to stop smoking. Whatever the desire there is a change that must occur.

Where are you in the change process?

According to James Prochaska, John Norcross, and Carlo DiClimente, “Changing For Good” there are 6 stages of change. They did research on addictive behaviors. So they wanted to see if there was some structure to change.The National Cancer Institute found this program

  1. Pre-contemplation
  2. Contemplation
  3. Preparation
  4. Action
  5. Maintenance
  6. Termination

Without going into a lot of depth on these stages of change I would like to give you a short overview of each one.

Pre-contemplation- is the stage where a person is resistant to change. Ignorance is bliss. Denial is not just a river in Egypt. Denial is a characteristic of pre-contemplators who put the responsibility for their problems on factors such as genetic make-up, addiction, family, society or destiny. All of these things are out of their control. “Alcoholism runs in my family. It’s genetic.

Contemplation- Change on the horizon. In this stage a person will acknowledge they have a problem and start to think seriously about it but they are not ready. “I know I am overweight and on the verge of becoming a diabetic but I’m not ready yet”.

Preparation- Getting Ready.  These folks are committed to action however, they may have some unresolved ambivalence. This is ok even necessary.  ( share the story about quitting smoking.)

Action- Time to move. This is when people make their move. They have committed their time and energy into making the change. However, the challenge is maintaining the change.

Maintenance- Staying there. Change never ends with action. There must be strong commitment to maintenance to insure there is no relapse. Therefore, this stage is critical to the success of making any change.

Termination- Exiting the cycle of change. This is the ultimate goal for all changers because there are no longer concerns of temptations or threats to problems. A person has complete confidence that they can cope without fear of relapse. This is where the struggle is won.

Now this is just an overview of these particular stages however, remember that the being in action is not the only time you can make progress toward overcoming your challenges. You can also change your level of awareness, your emotions, your self-image, your thinking, etc….

There are things you can do at each level to put you on the path of where you want to be.

About the Author

About the Guest Blogger: Kimberley Blackwell, MSW, LCSW, is a life coach and the founder of Innerflect Associates. Kim has cultivated a unique skill set that promotes a cooperative relationship toward achieving your full life potential. She utilizes a strength-perspective approach, along with the spirit of empathy and sensitivity, to guide you through the door of self-discovery and purpose in life.


Image Credit: africa / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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