What do you do if you’re lonely – but just not ready for a committed relationship. And by that I mean – what types of HEALTHY things should you do?
There are plenty of one-night-stand answers out there, but what I’m talking about doesn’t fall into those categories.
Many of us find ourselves alone, and lonely, for a reason – maybe even a good reason: Your previous relationship just ended, we’ve tried and tried to sustain a successful relationship but with no luck, we’ve decided being with someone isn’t the healthiest thing for us.
So, while you’re on your path to self-discovery, here are a few things you can do RIGHT NOW, to help yourself through whatever it is you might be going through!
- Talk. I’m talking about friends – not members of the opposite sex, not drinking buddies but true, genuine friends that that care about you, know your history and are devoted to your heath and well-being. Sometimes – just hearing someone’s voice is comforting enough to get you to the next place! I know that has worked many times in the past for me!
- Play. This has traditionally been a hard one for me! So – I needed to find my own version of what healthy fun was. Things that had positive consequences. I started dancing, took salsa lessons, ice skated w/ my son, played cards with friends, took classes at City College, went to open-air markets. There are a ton of things to do and a million online resources in your area for what I call “clean living,” fun things to do.
- Get a pet. I’m not saying this is the right answer for everyone – they are a huge responsibility! But if you ARE ready – I cannot tell you how many times my cats have come and cradled me in the midst of some of some of my most intense loneliness. And I let them. I was learning how to comfort myself when I had only known how to reach to someone else before (most of the time not the best someone, either).
- Laugh. I have always been the type of person who said, “If I am not capable of mustering a laugh, I know something is really wrong!” and then I revert to the above items. Because I genuinely, regularly love to indulge in gigantic belly laughter. I love to laugh at myself and when I am not busy laughing at myself, I seek out opportunities to find the humor in just about everything.
- Pray. Oh yes, never underestimate the power of prayer. I have said prayers over and over, hoping someone or something out there would hear me, and then one day it happened. I found my Divine connection to…well, The Divine, of course, and have never looked back. It was like coming home, and now I find great comfort in prayer and meditation, as corny or simplistic as this sounds. I know, I know, you are desperately lonely— then I say to you, pray like it!!
I’m not simply talking about activities that take up time, but rather, things that will help you discover who YOU are, and put you on a path to where you want to be!
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About the Author
Maryanne Comaroto is an internationally known relationship expert, talk show host and author. Her weekly live radio talk show reaches millions of listeners in the U.S. and around the world. Maryanne’s philosophy is “Great relationships begin within!”